Thursday, June 12, 2014

God's Will Be Done


My heart sank and I whispered a prayer the minute the ultrasound tech brought up the image on the screen as she tried to find the baby inside my womb this morning. It didn't take long for my husband and I to see that there had been no development since my last ultrasound.  Deep down I already knew that we'd recieve sad news today, especially after seeing very little development between the 1st and 2nd ultrasounds combined with the disappearance of my pregnancy symptoms, but I kept hoping for a miracle and praying I would be surprised during this 3rd ultrasound with a beating heart and healthy baby. Instead our hearts broke and the tears started flowing.

Please pray for us.

I was able to schedule a follow-up appointment with the same specialist from my last miscarriage for tomorrow morning, and I'll most likely be going to the hospital afterwards. We've also started to make the arrangements for our little one to be buried. It has been such a hard day.

Thank you Rosalie for the St. Gerard Hankie, and thank you all for the prayers.
May God reward you abundantly!

"Here the will of God is done, as God wills, and as long as God wills." 
- Saint Gerard Majella

98 comments:

  1. Oh Jessica, my heart sank upon seeing this post. I was thinking about you and praying for you yesterday because I saw somewhere (maybe in a comment box or on Facebook…doesn't matter) that you were going in for another ultrasound and you sounded concerned. I hate miscarriage. I am so sorry you are going through this again. Please know of my prayers for you and your family. Maybe your little one will meet up my little ones on the heavenly playground and become good friends. (((Hugs))) friend….and lots of prayers.

    2014-06-13 02:10:39

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  2. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this news. You have been in my prayers since you mentioned your last ultrasound didn't go as planned. There is nothing as heartbreaking. Having been there myself - I understand. Know you are in my prayers. I hope your physical discomfort is minimal, and that no one adds to your grief with uncaring words. Take care.

    2014-06-13 02:10:53

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  3. Jessica, this news just breaks my heart. I am truly sorry for your loss. We are wrapping you up in our prayers.

    2014-06-13 02:34:20

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  4. Jessica, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will continue to pray for you and your sweet family during this difficult time. May God give you peace and comfort now and always!

    2014-06-13 02:36:02

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  5. So sorry for your loss. We will be keeping your family in our prayers.

    2014-06-13 02:37:58

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  6. So sorry for your family's loss. Keeping you in my prayers.

    2014-06-13 02:41:18

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  7. Praying for all of you.

    2014-06-13 02:41:59

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  8. Love and prayers, Jessica. ♡

    2014-06-13 02:42:28

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  9. You will be in my prayers, dear Jessica. Your aching heart; it seems too much to bear. How good of you to first repeat, God's Will Be Done. It is so difficult. I wish I could do something more for you, but be assured of my prayers and understanding. God bless you.

    2014-06-13 02:43:56

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  10. So Sorry! Praying for you and your family.

    2014-06-13 02:45:51

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  11. I'm so sorry, Jessica. Prayers for you and your family.

    2014-06-13 02:46:37

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  12. Praying for you and your loss. Thank you for sharing the beautiful quote by St. Gerard. Asking his intercession for you and all your needs.

    2014-06-13 02:47:35

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  13. I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

    2014-06-13 02:49:47

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  14. Dear Jessica, this post was just heart wrenching. Please be assured of my prayers for your baby, you and your whole precious family. May our loving Mother wrap you ever so tightly in her arms tonight. God bless you.

    2014-06-13 02:52:01

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  15. Prayers for you all, so sorry to hear of this Jessica. :(

    2014-06-13 02:54:42

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  16. Oh, Jessica, I'm so sorry, my heart aches for you all. I think I speak for everyone who reads your blog, we already loved this baby too. I'll be praying for you. Love to you...

    2014-06-13 02:55:57

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  17. I'm so sorry, Jessica. Prayers for you and your family. Thank you for loving your little ones so well.

    2014-06-13 03:00:00

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  18. I'm so sorry for the loss of your child. May you be comforted in all these prayers.

    2014-06-13 03:00:46

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  19. We are praying for you and your family! So sorry for your loss.

    2014-06-13 03:02:31

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  20. I am so very sorry for your loss. I thought of you and your little one all day. I know how you cherish each child as if they were your only one so my heart feels extra heavy at this time for you. Please know of our continued prayers these next weeks. God Bless You.

    2014-06-13 03:04:46

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  21. We will pray for you, Jessica. I am so sorry!

    2014-06-13 03:05:16

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  22. So sorry for your loss, Jessica. We will be praying for you!

    2014-06-13 03:08:12

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  23. I am so, so sorry, Jessica! Praying for you.

    2014-06-13 03:11:25

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  24. So very sad.... You are all in our prayers.

    2014-06-13 03:19:15

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  25. Oh, dear Jessica, I am so very sorry. I have been thinking of you... praying. May God bless you, Sean, and your beautiful children. I have experienced six miscarriages... one of the kindest things that was ever said to me was that my babies would be the first to greet me in Heaven someday. To Jesus through Mary, Annita

    2014-06-13 03:21:46

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  26. My heart breaks for you. I am so very sorry for your loss. You're a beautiful witness of a faithful mother -- loving your dear one into the arms of God. It's not easy, I know it all too well. Yet, you continue to walk in faith, trusting in His most holy will. My family will continue to pray for you, your lil' one, and your entire family. Compassionate God, soothe the hearts of Jessica and her husband (S), and grant that through the prayers of Mary, who grieved by the cross of her Son, you may enlighten their faith, give hope to their hearts, and peace to their lives. Lord, grant mercy to all the members of this family and comfort them with the hope that one day we will all live with you, with your Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, for ever and ever. Amen.

    2014-06-13 03:22:09

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  27. Sending prayers, Jessica. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless your precious family.

    2014-06-13 03:22:19

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  28. Jessica, I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my prayers.

    2014-06-13 03:24:58

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  29. Dear Jessica, May Our Lady comfort you during this time of loss and sorrow. St. Gerard, pray for us!

    2014-06-13 03:30:45

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  30. I am so very sorry for this heartbreaking loss, dear Jessica. It has been indeed been a most sorrowful day. You'll remain in my prayers. God bless and keep you all.

    2014-06-13 03:37:45

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  31. Dear Jessica, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news about your baby. I will pray for you and all your family. St. Gerard, pray for us!

    2014-06-13 04:10:24

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  32. Sweet friend. I am praying for you and your family. I hope all the prayers and love can felt. God bless this new little saint in Heaven.

    2014-06-13 04:17:57

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  33. Praying for you and your family! Sorry for your loss and this very difficult day. God bless! May our Lady wrap all of you in the comfort of her mantle.

    2014-06-13 04:19:27

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  34. you are in my prayers. I've lost two babies to ectopic pregnancies. It is so hard. God has a bigger plan than we can imagine. For us, he led us to adopt a girl from an orphanage. I'm sure He has a plan for you too.

    2014-06-13 04:31:50

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  35. Sweet dear Jessica I am so sorry for your loss, you have been in my prayers all day, and i wiil keep you and your family in my heart. Love, Emma in Norway

    2014-06-13 04:42:46

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  36. Jessica - I am so sorry to hear your sad news today. I will be praying for you and your family.

    2014-06-13 04:45:33

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  37. So sorry to hear your news! Praying for you and your family!

    2014-06-13 04:51:44

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  38. Praying for peace and comfort to come to you. We're so sorry for your loss. --The Curl family

    2014-06-13 05:12:00

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  39. I was hoping for better news on your ultrasound, so I am sad to hear of your miscarriage. I'll be praying for you and your family to be comforted in your time of grief, including your children. I was eleven when my mom miscarried, and I remember feeling sad about it, so I'm sure your children will be mourning the loss of a new brother or sister too. :(

    2014-06-13 05:34:02

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  40. Empathy and prayers for healing, peace, and comfort. So, so sorry for your loss <3

    2014-06-13 05:48:41

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  41. Prayers, caring thoughts and infinite sympathy across the miles from NZ.

    2014-06-13 05:54:45

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  42. My rosary now adds your family. Your child now joins two of mine! x

    2014-06-13 06:26:08

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  43. I am so sorry Jessica! Our family is praying for your family.

    2014-06-13 07:13:46

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  44. Jessica, I am so sorry. My heart was heavy for you all day yesterday, remembering that sad, yet hoping, feeling of my last miscarriage. You are in my prayers still. I wish I could do more, my heart is broken for you. My only solace for awhile was a quote that I saw somewhere on the Internet that a mother's one mission is to get her children to Heaven and how blessed mothers who have lost their unborn are because they have already accomplished that.

    2014-06-13 09:16:35

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  45. Jessica, I'm so sorry for your loss. Saying prayers, for you and your family, during this difficult time.

    2014-06-13 10:42:35

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  46. Oh Jessica, {{{{}}}} Praying sweet friend{{}}

    2014-06-13 10:46:18

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  47. I'm so sorry, Jessica.

    2014-06-13 10:58:05

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  48. I will offer mass this morning for your family, Jessica. I am so sorry for your loss. I have no doubt that St. Anthony is holding your little one this morning, just as he held the Christ Child.

    2014-06-13 11:19:51

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  49. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jessica...May God bless and comfort you. Prayers...

    2014-06-13 11:20:18

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  50. Oh my dear, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

    2014-06-13 11:42:01

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  51. Jessica and family, May your sorrow be lifted as Our Dear Mother lets flow an abundance of graces upon you and your children. I also had many miscarriages. Even though God has blessed us with 6 children, there are 6 that are interceding for us at every moment of the day. Each and every loss is heart breaking. What a joyous day it will be when we meet them in heaven! Oh bliss, Oh joy... Praying for you and your family, Lorelei

    2014-06-13 11:59:01

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  52. Praying for you and your family Jessica! It's never easy to loose a baby no matter how many you have with you on earth. I'll remember you at Mass this morning.

    2014-06-13 12:05:45

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  53. All the hopes and dreams and joy we had for the babies that we have lost... It tears to our core and the aches of our hearts never quite go away - but God, in His wisdom has seen fit to make another saint - a special saint for us in heaven. An incredible new person who is among the company of saints of all time and place and who is "one of us"! Our pain and our longings to know and love that child and to want to hold and hear the sweetness of its life was called to God before we had that chance. It gives us sadness and pain, but, the victory is hard won... May you, Sean, Captain, Ranger, Twinkle Toes, Chiquita, Snuggles, Rose and Bud know with intimate knowledge the love, the joy all the hope and dreams of that little child as he or she is, now in heaven with God and all those saints that are in company with one another! :) All those of us for whom this type of loss is all too known and familiar, may we all know that joy and dream for our little ones, because they are in heaven with God and we get to celebrate that, through our tears, as was Mary's privilege at the foot of the cross. You will have a little "extra" to celebrate now on All Saints' Day this year...! God be with you and all your family in these days ahead... Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Bleesed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of thy death. Amen.

    2014-06-13 12:06:10

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  54. Praying for you and the family Jessica. I asked Our Lady to offer up the Precious Blood of Jesus to the Eternal Father, so that you all may be strengthened. It is one of my favourite prayers/offerings.

    2014-06-13 12:19:37

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  55. Praying for you...

    2014-06-13 12:32:42

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  56. Dearest Jessica, My heart goes out to you. It is such a painful, tragic loss for a mother's heart to bear. God only knows why He gives us these mysterious crosses. Please know that we are praying for you as you mourn the loss of your precious baby. My Our Sorrowful Mother comfort you during this time. Hugs, Marisa M.

    2014-06-13 12:39:09

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  57. So sorry to read this news... I will keep your family in prayer!

    2014-06-13 12:47:36

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  58. Oh, I'm so, so sorry to hear this. praying for you all this weekend.

    2014-06-13 13:04:41

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  59. Jessica I am so sorry. I am continuing to hold you all in my prayers. This heartache is one I know quite well: of the thirteen children i carried in my womb, three are living with me now. Such treasures and blessings they are, but oh, i do miss my other children. Jessica, i am so sorry. Hugs and love and prayers for you.

    2014-06-13 13:14:31

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  60. I am so sorry for your great loss. I too have lost a little one. Just remember that they are in Heaven looking down, praying for us and awaiting our arrival. May God hold you and your beautiful family tightly during this difficult and sad time. You are all in my family's prayers. Gentle hugs, Carla

    2014-06-13 13:31:15

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  61. Oh Jessica, I am so sorry, I am praying for you and your family. Love, Joene

    2014-06-13 13:33:53

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  62. Love and prayers surround you in this time and always precious family!

    2014-06-13 13:49:38

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  63. Mamabearjd(Michelle)February 17, 2022 at 5:51 PM

    Your previous posts on miscarriage helped me through a loss of my own. I am so sorry, and will pray for your family.

    2014-06-13 13:50:34

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  64. Dear Jessica, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You, your husband and children are in my prayers and I will be offering all rosaries for the next week for all of you. I would also like to share with you a way to remember your little one. The Church of the Holy Innocents in NYC has a Shrine of the Unborn. They invite people to name their child and to have the opportunity to have their baby's name inscribed in a "BOOK OF LIFE". Here, a candle is always lit in their memory. All day long people stop to pray. On the first Monday of every month, the 12:15pm Mass is celebrated in honor of these children and for the comfort of their families. The hope is that people will find peace in knowing that their child(ren) will be remembered at the Shrine and honored by all who pray here. The names of babies who have died before and at birth in the Book of Life.
    Contact: http://www.innocents.com/shrine.asp; Phone: (212) 279-5861.

    I will be praying for strength and healing for you. God bless.

    2014-06-13 14:05:46

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  65. I was thinking of you yesterday me praying that you would receive good news. I'm so sorry for your loss.

    2014-06-13 14:31:00

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  66. Jessica, I am so very sorry to here this news. I will continue to pray for you and your beautiful family. We were on vacation this past week and I did remember to pray for you all during mass at the California mission of Santa Clara. Please know that our hearts go out to you.

    2014-06-13 14:51:45

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  67. Prayers and love to you and your family.

    2014-06-13 15:42:14

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  68. May your Guardian Angel console you in your loss. May God bless you and your family. Thank you for all your inspiration and being a true light of Christ in our world today. Praying for you and your family.

    2014-06-13 17:38:22

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  69. I am so sorry for your loss. I will be praying for you and your family!

    2014-06-13 18:01:28

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  70. I will be praying for you and your family!

    2014-06-13 18:12:47

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  71. You and your family are in my prayers! Love, Jennifer

    2014-06-13 18:18:25

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  72. I am so sad, and so sorry for your precious loss. I will be praying for you and your family. God bless your precious Gabriel, and my first little one, who also died in the womb.

    2014-06-13 19:34:15

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  73. Oh Jessica (and family) I'm so sorry. There is no comparable pain, even when as you said you know it already in your heart of hearts. Praying for you and your loved ones.

    2014-06-13 19:50:27

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  74. I'm praying for you and yours.

    2014-06-13 20:52:53

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  75. I'm so sorry, Jessica. Words fail me, but I too know this pain. I will pray for you.

    2014-06-13 22:26:54

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  76. I am really sorry to hear your sad news. Praying for you all and sending love and blessings. x

    2014-06-13 22:47:09

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  77. Oh Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying for you all. +JMJ+

    2014-06-13 23:47:58

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  78. I'm so sorry! Tonight's prayer will be for your and all your family. God bless you

    2014-06-14 00:11:49

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  79. Jessica, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for your openness to life, and openness to God's plan. We now have one more saint in Heaven to call upon for intercessions. I'll be praying for healing and that God will be with your family during this time.

    2014-06-14 00:15:10

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  80. Jessica, having lost a baby this Christmas just gone, I know all too well the pain you are feeling. I send you my deepest sympathies and will pray for you, your little one and the whole family. I am struck with how lasting the pain is, how much we love these little ones we've never met. May that love strengthen you; your baby will always be yours, will be forever at peace. I cling to the knowledge my baby, and yours too, is free from this world now, will never know its pain and is safe in the loving arms of our Lord. Peace be with you and your family at this sad time.

    2014-06-14 02:03:24

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  81. I'm so very sorry.

    2014-06-14 02:05:39

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  82. Jessica, I know I am commenting again, but I just have not been able to stop thinking of you. I am still praying for peace and comfort for you and your tiny saint. May God bless you! I hope you don't mind that I shared your prayer request, it was really all I could think of all day. Hang in there, my friend, God be with you!

    2014-06-14 03:11:51

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  83. Oh dear Lord! I am sick with sorrow for you! The memories are still so close when you prayed for us and out sweet Steven Thomas! Lord have mercy on your family and grant you HIS PEACE! I will light my St. Raymond candle for all of you! So very very sorrow! +JMJ+

    2014-06-14 03:36:12

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  84. I am so saddened by your loss of your baby. My mum has lost two babies too. You will definitely be in my prayers. I cannot wait to get to heaven and meet my siblings who have been waiting for me for a very long time. God bless you, Miss Jessica. May your hearts be healed by God's marvelous hand.

    2014-06-14 04:55:18

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  85. I'm so sorry for your loss, Jessica.

    2014-06-14 07:50:18

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  86. For those who trust in God, in the pain of sorrow there is consolation, in the face of despair there is hope, in the midst of death there is life. I was so sorry to read this post Jessica. May Our Lord wrap His loving arms around you and Sean <3 <3 Janel in NJ

    2014-06-14 12:58:05

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  87. Oh, how the hearts of parents ache for their children. I am sorry for the loss of your precious one. Love and prayer surround you and your family.

    2014-06-14 14:11:50

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  88. Oh Jessica. I am heartbroken for you. Many hugs, sweet friend.

    2014-06-14 14:43:53

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  89. Dear Jessica, hope you can feel the spiritual hug being sent to you from me right now. I've been praying a novena to St. Gerard for his heavenly intercession & I will continue to pray for you and Sean and your family. I, too, share your sorrowful experience of miscarriage - it's such a difficult, bewildering time. Know that you continue to be in my thoughts, in my prayers and in my heart.

    2014-06-14 16:37:28

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  90. I'm so sorry to read this Jessica. You and your family are in pour thoughts and prayers. Hugs to all of you!

    2014-06-15 17:39:40

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  91. I wanted to pass along some bit of news regarding Holy Innocent Parish in NYC where they have the ministry for the unborn. I understand the the diocese of NYC is set to close a number of parishes and Holy Innocent Parish is at the top. Of the list. There is a vibrant traditional community at this parish and their pastor gave a homily about two weeks ago upon hearing this news and wondered why their parish was being targeted, etc. He has since been removed from his post there and sent away. They have been praying to St. Michael regarding this situation. It appears that the parish may be targeted because it is traditional. This is a fine and good parish. It would be a shame if it were to close and the pre-born ministry lost as a result. Please check the internet for more info and to see his homily, if interested and pray for parish and ministry.

    2014-06-16 15:10:09

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  92. mamaknowshoneychildFebruary 17, 2022 at 6:02 PM

    Oh Jessica, I'm really so sorry. I just read something about "praying for Jessica and her family" and I hoped it wasn't about you. I'm very sad to hear your news. Please know I'll be praying for you, your husband and children, and am terribly sorry for your loss.

    2014-06-17 00:38:07

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  93. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family as you mourn this loss of your little one. May Mary wrap you up in her mantle and may her Son be balm for your broken heart.

    2014-06-17 03:43:25

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  94. I'm so sorry Jessica. Many prayers for you and your family.

    2014-06-19 01:19:22

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  95. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers.

    2014-06-19 03:21:31

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  96. I am so sorry dear Jessica. My heart physically aches for you as I remember the loss of my own baby at 18 weeks, the knowing deep inside he was gone while waiting for the ultrasound, the remembrance of his last kicks (it was a cord accident) and going through labor to deliver him, holding him, the tears falling. My last baby. I was 37 and never able to conceive again for some reason. I found a card stuck on my hospital room door with a falling leaf---apparently to indicate to anyone who entered that there was no baby to make happy inquiries about. The lady next door to me had lost her baby just as I came in--a cord prolapse. I heard so any stories over the next few days of miscarriages--it seemed almost every woman had experienced at least one. And they all hurt so much. All my tender prayers to you and your little one, and your whole family.

    2014-06-20 03:57:03

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  97. Jessica, I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your little one. I can only imagine how devastating this must be. I pray that Our Blessed Mother will console you and your family in your grief. -Colby

    2014-06-24 22:38:00

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