Small Successes :: August 27, 2009

"It’s important for moms to recognize that all the small successes in our days can add up to one big triumph. So on Thursday of each week, we do exactly that."

~ 1 ~

Last week I received a call from the library letting us know that Rascal's name had been picked from the Summer Reading Program drawing, and that he had won a Barnes & Noble gift card!  You know, when the children all turned in their drawing slips it did go through my mind that we might have a slight advantage with five of their names getting entered.  ;)  Yet another benefit to living in a small town and having a "big" family!

~ 2 ~

Math is going GREAT this year!  Talking to Dr. Cotter, the author of Right Start, at the conference last May really helped me understand the program a little better and now I too (my children already did) LOVE the program.  

~ 3 ~

I finally got back in to see my midwife yesterday! (It had been 7 weeks, since my last appt.  I had one scheduled for a couple weeks ago, but it had to be canceled since it ended up being at the same time as hubby's diagnostic procedure -- his biopsy's came back negative by the way!!! Thanks for all the prayers!)  The appointment went great and I was very happy to hear that even though I've had some contractions each night, at this point I don't need to worry about bedrest.  My midwife said "Your just being YOU!" (I tend to contract daily from here on out, but only a few times has that progressed into actual pre-term labor.)

Oh, and I had a new nurse check me in.  She asked "So, is this your first or second?"  I just said,"ummmmmm...." (with a smile!) She said "your THIRD!!!!!"  I laughed...  "NOT your FOURTH!!!"  Nope, my ummmm, sixth.  (Then I went on to explain that this is actually my eighth pregnancy, and that I have two little ones in heaven.)   I wish I had a picture of her face!   ;) 

What are your Small Successes this week?

Stop by Faith and Family Live to read more of this week's Small Successes.

Oh Boy!!!

This morning I had my 20 week ultrasound.  

At my last ultrasound they said that it would be okay to bring all of our children to the next appointment and so this morning we all headed to town.

Before we left, Captain took a picture of my growing tummy.  

I feel HUGE for just over 20 weeks!   (The baby did measure a little big, just over 21 weeks, but still!!  I think I need to start eating more salads and less desserts...  A bit of exercise would probably be a good thing too. ☺) 

Hubby met us at the doctors office.  It was so much fun to watch our children "see" their newest sibling for the first time.  Snuggles was so cute and kept pointing to the screen saying "Baby!!"  

We were all so happy and relieved that everything still looks just perfect and that this coming Christmas we will be welcoming a...

... beautiful and healthy baby...

... with tiny little arms...

... perfect little feet ...

... who is most definitely a GIRL!!!!  

~ A few more pictures of our little "Rose" ~

Yes, that is her little foot next to her face! 

In this one it is her hand next to her cute little mouth!

So sweet! 

Thank you all so much for your prayers.  Please continue to remember us, and especially our little girl, in your prayers as we anxiously await her arrival! 

Deo Gratias!! 

Update:  Just to clarify, although I plan to call her "Rose" here on my blog, since I use nicknames for our children online, that is not the name we have chosen for her...   I do think of her as my little Rose after all the roses I received around the time I found out I was expecting, including this one I noticed just moments after I found out on April 14th!    Although Rose is a beautiful name, I love the one we have chosen for her even more!  ♥

Everyone is ready to go!

We are headed to my 20 week ultrasound appt. this morning.

Everyone is so excited!!!!  

We'll be spending the afternoon in town, but I should be back later this afternoon to post a few pictures of our precious little one.   In fact, I might just be able to tell you whether we will be welcoming a baby girl or boy this coming December!   Oooohhhhh!!  I can't wait!

Hope you all have a great day! God Bless!

What a kick!!

 

Our little one has been quite active lately and growing stronger.

Just a few minutes ago Twinkle Toes was able to feel her newest sibling give her a little kick on the hand.  The little one had to be persistent, but by kick #4 a big grin spread across Twinkle Toes face and she ran to tell her older brothers, who have not yet been so lucky.

It is hard to believe that this Friday will mark 20 weeks -- the half way point!  It is going by so fast...   I still have so much to do, but yet I can hardly wait at the same time!

Photo Credit:  Life Issues

Boy or Girl???

At just 14 weeks gestation, the beginning of the second trimester, it is still "too early to tell."

~ Our Baby ~

~ The top of the baby's head with hands together in front ~

~ Precious Little Feet ~

My guess is that our little one is a girl. I have thought so from the very beginning, despite the fact that the rest of my family thinks otherwise. Although I have been nauseous, the nauseousness has not been nearly as bad as it was when I was pregnant with our boys -- requiring multiple visits to the hospital. On the other hand, I AM tired, emotional, and breaking out (ugh!) -- all symptoms I had during my pregnancies with our two girls.

The ultrasound tech I had this morning was inclined to agree with me! From what I saw, I am thinking my instincts are right, but we will find out "for sure" at my 20 week ultrasound in August. ☺

Boy or girl, I am just so very happy and thankful that everything is going so well this time. Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Note to Self:

The next time you go on a camping trip, and have an early morning ultrasound scheduled for the morning after you return, DO NOT lay down "for just a minute" thinking you will get back up to change into pajamas, brush your teeth, and set the alarm. 

**Thankfully, despite the fact that I woke up exactly 20 minutes before my appointment, with a 28 mile drive (which generally takes approx 35-40 minutes), I was only 15 minutes late and they agreed to still see me -- this time.  Whew!!   (I had jumped out of bed, grabbed my keys, slipped on some flip flops, and RAN out the door.)   It was so exciting to see our baby again, and everything still looks just perfect!   I'll try and get on later (after I've had a chance to shower and change from yesterday) to scan and post a few pictures of our precious little one due this Christmas.

Counting the days till Christmas!

10 WEEKS

2 1/2 inches - 1.5 ounces

Fingers and toes are distinct and have nails.

The baby begins small, random movements,
too slight to be felt.

The fetal heartbeat can be detected with a heart monitor.

All major external body features have appeared.

Muscles continue to develop.

I received the sweetest card last week, when I was still in my 10th week of pregnancy. It was from the same online friend who sent me that beautiful rose/baby bookmark, which I believe was the rose in answer to my novena for Gabriel (the baby I miscarried last November at 11 weeks, who was due this coming Saturday, June 13th). That little rose bookmark seemed to be the start of a month long "Shower of Roses" ending with this one on my calendar just minutes after I found out I was expecting this new little one. My children were so excited to see and touch the little pin which shows the exact size of a 10-week unborn baby's feet. Thank you dear friend!!

I also had my monthly check-up today. It was such a relief to hear this little one's heart beating strongly!! Even though I had an ultrasound a few weeks back, I've still been nervous to get through this first trimester... I'll be 12 weeks this coming Saturday, and so far everything looks, and sounds, perfect!

Speaking of dates, since this was my first appointment with my doctor since my ultrasound, it seems that I was given the wrong due date from the ultrasound technician. My "official" due date is actually December 25th, Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve! Not much difference, but there you have it. Looks like we will be counting the days till Christmas earlier than usual this year! ;)

♥ Happy Tears ♥

I guess I was bound to cry at today's ultrasound, and sure enough, as soon as I heard our little one's heart beating, as perfect as can be, the tears started falling! Happy, joyful, THANKFUL tears!!! I knew I was a little bit worried, but I didn't realize just how scared I was until today...

I had the same ultrasound tech that I had in the fall, and she didn't hesitate to let me hear the heart beating and reassured me that everything looks just fine this time.

My due date is December 24th!!! The ultrasound machine kept going back and forth between the 24th and the 25th before finally settling on the 24th. Either way, we seem to have a Christmas baby on the way!

To celebrate I picked up a box of See's candy for me my family and a couple maternity tops... Is it really possible to start showing at just 8 weeks???? lol!

Thank you all for your prayers!!!

Since it is Mother's Day...

... and since I just can't keep it a secret any longer, and since I would really appreciate any prayers you can spare...

Yes, we are expecting another little one!

I found out on April 14th, just before looking at my calendar and finding that last rose. (I was so surprised to see that calendar page, but yet it was SO very fitting!!) ☺ I am praying that it was a sign that everything will be okay, since I did miscarry our last little one in the fall. So far I have had a couple preliminary blood tests to check my hormone levels, and everything has come back as it should. I have also been very tired and nauseous, which explains my rather sporadic blogging lately. My poor family has been on their own for meals this past week, since I can't even seem to be able to open the refrigerator with out getting sick! (Thank you hubby, for taking care of it all!) I keep reminding myself that being this sick IS A GOOD THING, and trying my hardest to offer it up and be thankful as I am throwing up! ;)

I have another appointment next Wednesday with my midwife, followed by an ultrasound on Friday at which we will check for the baby's heartbeat and determine my actual due date! (The online calculators gave me a date of December 24th, and the doctor's office has said December 21st. Either way, I had better start my Christmas planning early this year!)

We are all very excited, though I must admit I will feel much better after hearing this little one's heartbeat next Friday. Thank you all for your prayers!

Prayer for the Graces of Motherhood

Powerful is your intercession with God, Mary, for you are his mother. Tender, too, is your love for us, for you are our mother. Confidently, then, I come to you as a child, poor and needy, to seek your aid and protection. In every trial of motherhood, I beg your aid. For the grace of a happy delivery, I come to you. For your holy assistance in guarding and directing each tiny soul with which God entrusts me, I call to you. In every sorrow that comes to me in my motherhood, I confide in you.

That I may have strength to bear cheerfully all the pains and hardships of motherhood, I lean on you. That the sweetness of motherhood may not through my neglect be embittered in later years by pains of regret, I trust in you. That the will of God may always be fulfilled in me through each act of my motherhood, little and great, I beg your aid. Never forsake me dear Mother, my hope, my consolation, my confidence, and my trust, but ever be at my side to aid and protect me, your needy child. Amen.

Mother of Love, of Sorrow, and of Mercy, Pray for us!

Happy Mother's Day to all you Momma's out there!

I hope you are all having a wonderful day!

Love's Delay

The Lord is waiting to show you His favor. He yearns to have pity on you, and happy are all who wait on Him.

As you all know, I have a special devotion to our dear St. Therese. I pray for her intercession often, but only a few times have I asked for a particular favor through a novena. Each time she has answered my novenas and sent me roses.

This past September I prayed another novena to St. Therese leading up to her feast day. I was asking God to grant me a healthy baby and a safe delivery for our little one that was due to be born around June 13th of this year. I finished the novena, but I never did receive a rose. The only roses I saw were those that others told me they had received and those pictured here on my blog, which don't count, right? Where was my rose??

Shortly after, I stopped "looking" for roses and ended up forgetting about that particular novena I had prayed. One month later I found out that our little one had died. I lost our little Gabriel on November 24th, the very same day that I lost my first baby (he was born and baptized on the 24th and went to heaven on the 25th), and at the very same hospital, which I have avoided over the years as much as possible.

I don't believe in coincidences and knew, as hard as it was at the time, that God must have had His reasons. He did! I have already noticed so many blessings that have come from our little Gabriel's short life. I won't share them all here on my blog since they are so personal, but I do want to share a little story about that "forgotten" novena.

Last week, when I was packing for the drive to California for my Grandfather's funeral, I grabbed a few books to read on the way. One of the books I brought along was Archbishop Fulton Sheen's St. Therese - A Treasured Love Story. I had read this particular book last summer, during my children's swimming lessons, but remembering how inspired I was by it (and how distracted I was while reading!), I thought it would be nice to re-read some of it. I opened it up to Chapter 3: Saint Therese and the Virtues of Faith, Hope, and Perseverance, where I had left a bookmark, and read about "Love's Delay."

I wish I could share the whole chapter with you! Fulton Sheen talks about how love is not immediate, and that Scripture often tells us to "wait on the Lord."

But to keep to the point. Here all through Scripture is the delay of love. If you start with great success you may be like a skyrocket. Go up with a lot of fire and noise and come down like a stick. Some of the hardest and cruelest words in Scripture are, "You have already had your reward." You wanted something? You got it. That's all you'll ever have. So the Lord sometimes does not give us all that we want. But even when we so not receive it, we can find a divine answer as she [St. Therese] did.

Fulton Sheen reminds us that "God sometimes does say no in love's delays." He tells us that if we are praying for certain favors to be prepared for love's delay, but keep praying.

So, never give up on your prayer, because the petition that you seek is distinct from the prayer itself. All prayer is dependence. Prayer is love. And you will find that as you love more you will be seeking less and less material favors. Maybe God is answering your prayers without our knowing it very often. In the divine intent, the day that Pope Leo put his finger over the lips of that fourteen-and-a-half year old girl, God had already decided that she was going to enter Carmel. And I am sure that when Pope Leo went to Heaven, the one thing that he was most sorry for in his whole life was that he told that little girl to keep still. Here we are praying to the Little Flower and not to Leo XIII. What a lesson that is! I am sure a few readers have said a prayer to Leo XIII, as great as he was, and he controlled the life of the Little Flower. You see, everything changes in the mind of God.

I went on to read the following chapter as well titled St. Therese and the Power of Intercession. In this chapter Fulton Sheen mentions that there are "actually three wombs. One is the womb of nature by which we are born physically, the second is the womb of grace, and the third is the womb of eternity."

By this point I was thinking about Gabriel, and recalled my novena, last September, to St. Therese. Even though I didn't receive the exact results that I was intending, or receive a rose from St. Therese, God did answer my prayer. Through the conditional baptism that we were able to give Gabriel, we were blessed with a spiritually healthy baby. And what more could we, as parents, ask for our children than a safe delivery into eternity!?!

Anyhow, we arrived home from our trip Saturday night, just in time to celebrate Lætare Sunday. I didn't have much time to post, so I quickly updated and reposted my post from last year. Lætare Sunday is also known as "Rose Sunday" so wouldn't you know that St. Therese would choose that particular day, with my novena for Gabriel last September so fresh in my mind, to send me my rose!!!

That very day I received a comment from a fairly new visitor, who did not know that I had had a recent miscarriage:

Happy Catholic Mother's Day! I found a really cute rose bookmark with a sweet smiling baby on it. I don't know why I feel like you are meant to have it but I do. Since I can't shake that feeling I would love to actually get it to you:o) (maybe it is from St. Therese or something!!) If it is not too off the wall, you can send me your po box and I'll mail it right away. Thanks for your great blog! Praise God for you and your beautiful family.

I, in total awe of God's grace and love, emailed her back with my address and mentioned my novena for Gabriel. I logged in yesterday to find another email from her:

I've seen rose after rose and never thought--gee I should send this to Jessica--but the rose and the sweet smiling baby seemed just for you. I'm sort of in disbelief that I really just contacted someone I've never met and with such a story. I was so certain that I should get this to you that I practically tripped over my feet today to get your special letter in the mail.

I am now anxiously awaiting the arrival of my precious rose!!!! What great faith this new online friend must have, to recognize and act on a little prompting from God, like this!! I could hardly wait for hubby to get home yesterday to tell him this story, on his birthday and the traditional FEAST OF ST. GABRIEL!!!

God is good!

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

Thank you ♥

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes: and death shall be no more, nor mourning, nor crying, nor sorrow shall be any more, for all former things are passed away. And He that sat on the throne, said: Behold, I make all things new. ~ Apoc 21:4-5

I can't begin to thank you all enough for the outpouring of love and support that you have given to our family. I KNOW that it is all of the prayers that got us through yesterday, and continue to give us the strength and grace that we need right now.

It was such a blessing to have a priest available to hear my confession and give me the anointing of the sick just before my D&C yesterday afternoon. I couldn't even believe how calm I was, and how accepting I was able to be that this was the will of God. I kept telling my husband that "people must be praying for us!"

My husband conditionally baptized the baby and we will be meeting Father at the cemetery tomorrow afternoon for the burial.

We will always miss our little Gabriel dearly. It helps to do as a priest recommended this past weekend and place myself at the foot of the cross and try and imagine what the Blessed Mother must have felt as she had to watch her Son, the Son of God, die on that cross. She embraced her cross, and in imitation of her, I must try to follow her example. St. John Vianney once said, "our greatest cross is our fear of crosses."

Through the grace of God, I pray that we will one day be reunited with all our beloved in Heaven. Thank you again for your prayers, may God reward you!

In the world you shall have distress: but have confidence,
I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33

Heartbroken

Sometimes it is just so very, very hard to thank God
for the suffering that he allows in our lives...

This past Wednesday I went in for my regular OB check up. At the appointment, my midwife was not able to find our baby's heartbeat. She was not very concerned due to the location of my uterus, and the fact that we had a hard time finding Chiquita's heartbeat until the second trimester as well. Nevertheless, she gave me the option of either coming back in two weeks for a recheck, or scheduling an ultrasound. I opted for the ultrasound.

My ultrasound was scheduled for Friday morning at 7:30am. I was confident that everything would be fine, but hubby took the morning off work to go with me just the same. I am so thankful that he did.

As the woman started the ultrasound, she didn't say much. I noticed that she was measuring the baby, and asked about it, but then she changed the screen to my overall uterus and she just said that she was taking a couple measurements. A few minutes later she turned to us and said, "I'm afraid that I have bad news for you guys."

Our baby's heart was no longer beating.

It was such heartbreaking news for us, and I immediately started crying.

My uterus measured at the correct 11 weeks gestation, but our baby only measured between 7-8 weeks. They don't know when exactly our little one died, but said that it could have been anytime in the past few weeks.

My midwife prescribed some pain medicine for when the miscarriage starts, and suggested that I schedule a D&C for Monday or Tuesday, which already happen to be two very emotional days for me each year.

I decided to try and see a very pro-life specialist in the area. I have the appointment tomorrow morning. If I end up needing the D&C, I want to have the best doctor available. I am so scared.

Even though I know that our little one is in God's hands, and is perfectly happy, I can't even put into words, how hard this has been for us. It is amazing how quickly you can bond with a child. This baby has only been a part of our lives for a few months, and yet is already so dearly loved and such a precious part of our family.

If you could all please keep us in your prayers, it would be greatly appreciated!

Dear Lord, please help us to be thankful for this cross that You have allowed in our lives. Please give us the grace to carry it, and help us to accept it as Your will.

Our Lady of Sorrows, pray for us!
Update: Thank You ♥

Wordless Wednesday ~ Oh Baby!

**This little photo was taken last Wednesday afternoon, after ironically posting about Preggie Pops and Spices the night before... Little did I know that I would be needing them so soon! :)